One of the hardest things to do is to forgive someone when they have done something that brings pain or offense to you. I’m going to give you 7 reasons to help you understand why it is to your benefit to forgive.
The word “forgive” means to release or let go. Many have been taught that to forgive is to allow someone to escape the consequences of their actions. That’s not true. There is a universal law that never fails: you will reap what you sow. No one will escape the law of cause and effect. Believe this and you are 90% of the way to helping yourself be rid of the negative consequences of unforgiveness. Forgiveness is about letting go of an unpleasant experience so you don’t continually re-live it.
Here are 7 reasons you should consider forgiveness to be a viable option:
1. You benefit most by forgiving. Unforgiveness is a fifty pound weight you carry with you everywhere you go. It weighs on your mind, your heart, your mood, your emotions, your productivity, your outlook, your attitude, your relationships, and it steals energy from your ability to enjoy life.
2. You benefit most by forgiving. Whatever someone did to impact your life, don’t take it personal. Believe this: it wasn’t about you. People do things because of who they are. You can’t change them or their motivations. You can only change how you receive their actions. How you receive their actions determines who you are. You are the only person you have the ability to change.
3. You benefit most by forgiving. Only one emotion can exist at a time. You can’t feel joy when you are feeling anger. You can’t feel happy when you feel jealous. Negative emotions cloud your good judgment. They steal your objectivity. Unless you can control your emotions, your emotions will control you. Negative emotions lose their power when you forgive. Choose good emotions instead of bad ones. Let go of anger, fear, envy, or jealousy so that you can experience joy, hope, love, peace.
4. You benefit most by forgiving. There is nothing – nothing – better than peace of mind. Peace of mind never comes through revenge. The universe always has a better answer to providing a harvest for what is sown. Revenge does not restore honor. It’s never honorable to be the bearer of pain or karma. Peace of mind comes when you trust the universe has a better answer. Let it go and let the universe do its job.
5. You benefit most by forgiving. Many times the harm done is only “perceived” harm, not actual harm. In fact, people often don’t even realize you have taken offense at what they’ve done. You’re the only one who suffers in these cases, and there’s no real karma they have to reap when they didn’t do anything wrong. You’ve made their actions all about you, when in fact, it had nothing to do with you. Let it go and look for the good things happening around you.
6. You benefit most by forgiving. You cannot move forward with your purpose in life if you are dwelling in the past. Unforgiveness allows the past to be repeated again and again and again. Re-living a negative experience repeats the negative emotions. Stop allowing your insecurities to push the repeat button. Take control of your future and refuse to re-live that experience. Learn something from the experience and move forward. Let it go every time the memory wants to come back and hurt you again.
7. You benefit most by forgiving. Maturity comes through forgiveness. You become master of your body, mind, and heart. No longer will circumstances, insecurities, or emotions control you. When you are the master, you can focus on the purpose for which you were created. You will reap the good that you sow…and the universe will help you.
To forgive is to let go of a life experience that is bothering you. It has nothing to do with ignoring the truth about who the person or company who committed the offense. Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting the immaturity or insecurity that governs the actions of another person. Learn from the actions of others—who you can trust and who you can’t trust, then act accordingly.
To forgive is to take a step into your own future with less baggage, to follow your true purpose, and to experience the fullness of life. You always benefit the most when you forgive.
I did write a short book about forgiveness two years ago if you’re interested in checking it out.